The Porch Light copyright by Revka (2006-2010). All rights reserved.

Monday, March 12, 2007

Definitely not Aleve

The following story is completely fictional. Any personal or locational resemblance is strictly coincidental.

“Martha, isn’t supper ready yet?”

The querulously complaining voice belonged to long-suffering Martha’s husband, Frank. Crotchety and chronically dissatisfied, Frank had spent his life whining about his circumstances, causing his voice to assume a perpetually complaining timbre. Sweet-tempered Martha had learned to silently endure his endless criticisms and demands.

“It’ll be ready in a minute,” she quietly replied.

After listening to more than the usual amount of negative chatter, Martha inquired if something was wrong.

“Wrong? What on earth could possibly be wrong?” Frank snapped. “My supper is not ready, and my head is pounding. I’m just fine, thank you!”

“Oh, Frank, if your head is hurting, go take an Aleve! I promise supper will be on the table by the time you return.” Frank had finally exhausted Martha’s nearly endless supply of patience, causing her to reply in a slightly tart manner.

Frank went off to take the medicine and returned to see supper on the table as Martha had promised.

After eating two helpings of everything and grudgingly complimenting Martha on the food, Frank retired to the living room where he turned on the TV and aimlessly flipped through the channels. After washing up the supper dishes, Martha joined him and soon became completely immersed in the trials and misadventures of Anne of Green Gables. She had only read a couple of chapters before she began to feel as though someone were watching at her. She looked up to find Frank staring at her, an odd look in his eyes.

“Did you need something, Frank?” Martha sweetly inquired.

“You sure are looking good tonight,” came the unexpected reply.

“Why, thank you, dear!” Martha was pleased with the unusual response and returned to her reading. A few blissfully quiet moments passed.

“Did you do something different to your hair?”

This time it was Frank’s voice that pulled her back to reality. Martha replied that her hairstyle was the same it had been for the past 20 years. Puzzled by Frank’s out-of-character remarks, Martha solicitously inquired about his headache.

“Oh, my head still hurts some, but it’s not too bad now,” Frank replied.

“I knew that Aleve would be just the thing for your headache,” Martha commented, preparing to return to her book.

Aleve?” Frank questioned. “I thought you said to take some Levitra!”


Karen is Thrifty said...

Hahahahhahaa! Oh, you have me laughing. The things we do to get paid for blogging. Great story, Revka. I'm sure the traffic from the carnival will enjoy it too! lol

Revka said...

Yea, I'm glad you thought this was funny! I was grinning from ear to ear while typing it. This was the most graceful way I could think of the complete what was, for me, an embarrassing assignment. Yep, that $5 is a HUGE incentive to sacrifice both dignity and modest reserve! HA HA HA!

Karen is Thrifty said...

I'm glad you have the imagination necessary to write the story.

Revka said...

You know, the longer I blog, the more free I feel to express this wacky nutty side of me that I usually try to repress.

The longer I blog, the more I'm finding that my high school love of creative writing is still alive and well. I always looked forward to those assingments. (I just caught that typo, but you remember those assingments, don't you? - the ones where you had to write your composition and then sing it out loud to the class. *laughing*)

Just let the assignment be fiction because I'm too self-conscious to write non-fiction. Well, I guess I USED to be. This blog is mostly non-fiction, isn't it?

Lynn Donovan said...

Hilarious!!! You make me laugh. I am delighted to find your work. Blessings, Lynn

Revka said...

Hi, Lynn! Thanks for stopping by. I'm glad this made you laugh. :) It is definitely my favorite paid blogging post; can you believe I actually got paid to write this?! Have a great day.

exceldream50 said...

You made me laughing.... I had great time reading your blog.Keep it up.

Revka said...

Hello, exceldream50! Thank you very much for stopping by and taking the time to comment. I really appreciate it. I'm glad you thought this was funny and are enjoying my blog. I hope to see you around again. Have a great day.

Robin (the pensieve one) said...

Oh, Revka, I'm sooooo glad you shared this post! I was expecting a POEM, and THIS is what I found??? hahahah! Yep, this time I had a BIG grin!

What are your thoughts on "pay per posts"? Are you still doing that?

This was smartly, cutely written (are those even words?). It shows you were having fun :).

Revka said...

Hi, Robin! I'm glad you stopped by and am even more glad that you liked this story. :)

This post is still one of my personal favorites - in fact, I still laugh every time I read it, and I know the punch line. :)

I'll e-mail you about the paid blogging stuff - too long for here. Short version: great idea when restricted and appropriate.