The Porch Light copyright by Revka (2006-2010). All rights reserved.

Saturday, September 01, 2007

Becoming Mrs. Incredible

Over at Weekend Kindness, where I am a contributing author, MInTheGap has created a new meme called "What's Your Story?" The meme is simple: share your engagement story and then tag 3 others to play along. Mine is the story of dreams which were broken and then refashioned into something more lovely than I could have imagined. (This is going to be a long post.)

A boy who attended my high school for one year ended up attending the same college as I did. Our first semester of college found us bumping into each other, rarely at first and then with increasing frequency. Finally, Stephen asked me on a date, and I accepted his invitation. We soon were "officially" boyfriend and girlfriend. A year and a half later, he asked me to marry him, and we set a wedding date 3 years into the future.

Halfway through our engagement, the Lord used circumstances to make clear to Stephen that we were not to be together, and he sadly broke off our engagement in the first week of September, 1998. I had never felt so rejected and betrayed in my life.

My older sister had graduated from college in May and had accepted a teaching position at a Christian school in a place she had never been and knew no one. I had chosen not to re-enroll for the '98-'99 school year. When Sho learned of my broken engagement, she asked if I had any plans. Since I didn't, she invited me to come visit her. The day after my 21st birthday (mid-September), I made the 11 hour drive up to my sister's house. I had already determined to go job-hunting, figuring that perhaps the Lord intended for me to relocate there.

As a matter of course, I attended church with Sho and decided that I liked what was there. Soon, we both became members, and I was almost immediately asked to become the church pianist. That fulfilled a long-cherished dream, and I happily stepped into my new responsibilities, not realizing that the Lord would use that position to catch my future husband's eye.

Still dealing with the effects of the breakup, I was not at all interested in getting to know any guys. I wouldn't even look at any male who happened across my path. (Apparently, that didn't faze Mr. Incredible. I later learned that he and one of his best friends, who also attended our church, had a conversation regarding Sho and me in which each one laid claim to a girl. Mr. Incredible loves listening to piano music and laid claim to the church pianist. The funny part is that each of them did end up marrying the girl he claimed.) So matters stood for about a month.

Sometime in October, I started to be included in a group of youth and young adults. I enjoyed making new friends and started to feel more at ease with the notion of having guys as friends. At the end of October, the church had a "fall festival" which I attended. A game of volleyball ensued. I immediately joined in because I had played since 6th grade and absolutely loved the game. I ended up on the same team as Mr. Incredible and noticed him for the first time. (I had probably seen him before, but I didn't remember him at all.) I was not impressed because he seemed like a nice guy with no substance.

About a week later, Mr. Incredible invited the group I hung out with to his house to celebrate both his birthday and his success in attaining his pilot's license. He made a point of inviting me personally, trying to make sure that I would be there. I thought his party sounded like fun and decided that I would go.

The day of the party, I played tennis with a male friend (who was younger than me by three years and reminded me of my little brother). I had beat him, as usual, and, at the party, was boasting of that fact. Mr. Incredible spoke up to say, "I'll play you." I was completely shocked and asked him to repeat himself, which he did. Dumbfounded, I agreed, and he got my phone number so he could call me later to finalize details. I was puzzled by his request but was still not interested in him.

When he called me a couple of days later, we ended up talking for nearly an hour, and I discovered that there was much more to him than I had initially thought. By the end of the conversation, he had captured my interest to the point that I was actually looking forward to our date the next day.

The next day proved to be rainy. I was willing to reschedule, but he had taken time off work (that should have told me a lot right there) to make the date and wanted to go ahead and keep it anyway. We walked around the local (tiny) mall, talking for several hours. My interest grew.

After that, he asked me out on a few more dates and then, shortly after Thanksgiving, asked me to be his girlfriend. I unhesitatingly and very happily agreed, and he gave me his class ring to wear as a symbol of our new relationship.

Four months later, in March of 1999, he sent a dozen beautiful roses to me at work. He had never done anything like that before, and the ladies at work insisted that he was going to propose to me. I enjoyed my roses and, despite the fact that we had never even discussed such a thing, grew a bit excited at the thought of his asking me to become his wife. I received the roses on Tuesday, and we had a date scheduled for Saturday night.

Mr. Incredible took me to The Legacy, a very nice restaurant, and I enjoyed both the food and the company. He seemed rather nervous and kept checking his watch, at one point making a comment about having plenty of time. When I asked about that statement, he only made a vague reply. After we finished our dinner, he suggested going by a particular park, which I thought was a good idea. The park had a large pond with a bridge across it, and Mr. Incredible directed our steps that way but turned back when he realized that someone was on the middle of the bridge leaning against the railing and smoking. We stopped to talk. After awhile, he asked to see his class ring. I gave it to him, and, as he studied it, he asked if he could have it back. I immediately thought that he was either breaking up with me or was going to propose after all. I assured him that he could have his ring back if he really wanted it, and he got down on his knee as he offered me a diamond ring in its place, asking if I would consent to be his wife. I ecstatically agreed, and five months later we became husband and wife.

The Lord has blessed me abundantly, and I thank Him for extracting me from a relationship that was not what He wanted for me. I love being Mrs. Incredible and marvel at how an incredibly painful circumstance led to a lifetime of happiness.

Now you know how I came to be Mrs. Incredible. What's your story? I would like everyone to feel free to play along (if you do, please let me know in my comments), but I am going to tag Amy, Kiy, and Frank to share their engagement stories. MInTheGap has allowed us to hot-link to his photo. The URL is I look forward to reading the story of your engagement.


The New Parent said...

Hi R--interesting and poignant post. It's amazing how lives play out and how circumstances, maybe driven by personalities, can bring people together (smile).

Thank you for sharing this look into your "origins!"

Revka said...

Hey, Frank, I'm glad you liked my story. I was rather worried about the length, but I hope that it is interesting enough to escape feeling tedious. I hope that you choose to share your story. :)

Mary said...

I loved your story! I read every word, so don't worry about the length. Sometimes you have to go long to get all the good details.

I love that the two guys married you two sisters...nothing like a man who knows what he wants!

Great story.

Revka said...

Hey, Mary, I'm glad you loved my story and even more happy that the length didn't bother you. I find it nearly impossible to shorten this story any further.

Yes, it's rather neat the my brother-in-law and my husband were already friends before they married us sisters. That has made for easy relations between our families. :)

Shoshannah said...

I decided I don't like this guy I'm married to. Ya wanna trade? JUST KIDDING!
I love being married to Spencer. Our guys picked the right ones for them didn't they?

Revka said...

Um, nope, Sho - not a chance! Spencer makes a nice brother-in-law and all, but I don't want him as a husband. I'll just keep Mr. Incredible, if you don't mind. *laughing*

Besides, you've got it easy - remember? He took you to be his "awful" wedded wife - not much to live up to there! :)

The New Parent said...

Hi R--I sometimes am concerned about the length of a post also, but realize that with some topics more writing is needed.

It was interesting and I'm glad we had a further look into your life (smile)!

MInTheGap said...

What a terrific story! I've written mine and it'll come out tomorrow, but it makes me wonder if I should go further back. It's amazing how God clears the way for the right one!

Revka said...

Thanks for the reassurance, Frank. I'd hate to bore anyone. :)

Revka said...

Hey, MIn, I'm glad you enjoyed my story. It does amaze me how God worked everything out so Mr. Incredible and I would end up together. I read your story and see that we share some similarities. God is good, Isn't He?