The Porch Light copyright by Revka (2006-2010). All rights reserved.

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Thank You for the Valley

I can't remember where I read this, but some study found that when people who were unhappy with their {life, marriage, whatever} were surveyed again 5 years later, the overwhelming majority of them were no longer unhappy with that situation.

I can say from personal experience that you never know when the situation that is weighing on you will be transformed from a burden into a blessing.

To be quite honest, while the past 4 or so years have been pretty tough for me, the past 2 years have been especially difficult. Within the past 3 months, however, the situation that I found so difficult has turned around and is now one of the biggest blessings in my life.

Despite my hesitation to do so, I'm going to share a poem I wrote at one of my lowest points. When I read the words I penned and contrast them with my life today, I can only say, "Thank God He never let go of me!"


But not peaceful

Unspoken thoughts
Words not yelled
Or uttered at all

Nowhere to turn
No one who cares

Building and mounting
About to explode

My own existence
To continue or not

Cut off from help
No hope in sight

Fading away
Into welcome oblivion

~by Revka

If you are wondering about the last few stanzas, yes, I have thought about committing suicide - during more than one stage of my life. I obviously haven't done more than think about it, and I don't think I ever could. But there have been times when I seriously thought my family would be better off without me, that perhaps Mr. Incredible married the wrong person and would be able to marry the right one if I removed myself, that my children deserve a better mother.

Call me crazy or whatever you want, but I'm being honest and sharing one of my darkest secrets in hopes that maybe someone who is going through a similar struggle will find encouragement and strength to hold on when all they want to do is let go. No one has shared with me that they have ever struggled with something like this, and yet ... I can't help believing that if I struggle, someone else does, too.

If that's you, hold on. Don't give up. Pour your heart out to God. When life seems darkest, He's there to light your way if you are His child. Oft times, the darkest time is just before the light breaks through. But even if light never comes, the darkest night traveled with God is brighter than the most brilliant day traveled alone.

Thank You for the Valley - by Dottie Rambo

Thank You for the valley I walked through today.
The darker the valley, the more I learn to pray.
I found You WHERE THE LILIES ARE BLOOMING BY THE [I like the following lyrics here instead] when the preacher was preaching the Gospel way.
And I thank You for the valley I walked through today.

Thank You for every hill I've climbed
For every time the sun didn't shine.
Thank You for every lonely night
I prayed til I knew everything was alright.
And I thank You for the valley I walked through today.

Life can't be all sunshine, or the flowers would die.
The rivers would be deserts all barren and dry.
Life can't be all blessing, for there'd be no need to pray.
So I thank You for the valley I walked through today.


Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Thank You, Dear Barnabas

While I am waiting for the WordPress platform to finish uploading to a client's site, I thought I'd drop a quick line here.  I don't want to desert my poor blog so soon after only recently "finding" it again!


Back in May, my bloggy friend Lizzie from A Dusty Frame created the Barnabas Award to recognize people in her life who have been an encouragement to her.  I was honored to be named as a Barnabas.  I am delighted to pass this on to several friends, both bloggers and those I know in real life, who have been a great encouragement to me recently.


*Link back to the person who gave you the award.

*Use the Barnabas graphic (leaving the URL on it)

*Share it with anyone who encourages you whether or not their blog is “spiritual”.

*Share this explanation

“Barnabas worked with the Apostle Paul.

We remember him for his encouragement and generosity. In this spirit, I’d like to let you know that you are a Barnabas in my life. Thank you!”

I'd first like to award those who gave me encouraging comments after reading my rant about being backstabbed.  I was feeling pretty low, and you really picked me up.  So thank you - Amber, Jen, Tanyetta, Robin, Karen, Sho, and Mom.  (BTW, that rant was not about anyone I know in real life, nor was it about anyone who has ever dropped by my blog.  Hope that makes you feel better if you were wondering.)

I'd also like to give this to some other people encourage me: Holly, Jen, Lizzie, Drama Mama, CPA Mom, Dad Stearns (my FIL), and Mr. Incredible.

So now I guess I've renamed all you "Barnabas" - LOL!  Seriously, I can't thank you enough.  I hope the Lord blesses each and every one of you for what you have done for me.