The Porch Light copyright by Revka (2006-2010). All rights reserved.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Journey Out of Darkness


I built a fortress, tall and strong -
Built it deep and built it long.
Built it so that I'd be free
From threats against my deepest me.

Bit by bit the walls grew high
Until they nearly reached the sky,
Sheltering, protecting, shutting out
Tears within and fears without.

I built a fortress but found on waking
I was locked within
a prison of my own making.

~ Revka Stearns

Not so long ago, my world once again grew dark. But this time, I had a friend who was able to see that I needed help and was able to help me understand that what I was experiencing was not normal, that I didn't have to fight it alone, and that I could get help.

Cutting out quite a bit, I'll just say that I did get help, and I'm very thankful I did. I'm no longer in that dark place, and I'm hopeful that I have seen the last of it for a very long time, if not forever.

I wrote the poem above in one of my dark times during the past months. I've shared before about the walls I've built and about my desire to tear down those walls. I'd shared some of the progress that I'd made in dismantling those barriers.

Today, I'm rejoicing in the fact that I've been able to identify and discard a lot of the reasons I had for erecting my fortress. I'm making great headway in finding the courage to be true to myself rather than trying to meet everyone else's expectations for me. And life is good.


Anonymous said...

What a lovely poem and wonderful progress. So happy for you!

Anonymous said...

* oops forgot to post my name
^ Sarah Hamelinck

Revka said...

Thanks, Sarah! It has been tough, but I'm very happy with where I am at this moment.

[I am] The One With the Camera said...

Wow, the poem is amazing.

I know what you mean about dark, depressing, downard times. They are very even in a saved person's life. Some people negate the fact of Christians being depressed but it's a reality.

I'm glad to know you are doing much better.