The Porch Light copyright by Revka (2006-2010). All rights reserved.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Bittersweet Changes Ahead

After nearly 3 years, it is odd in some ways to be starting over with a new baby - once again I am becoming intimately familiar with teeny, tiny clothes, interrupted sleep, constant feedings, infant supplies, and an overstuffed diaper bag. I look into my barn and see items reserved for days ahead: an Exersaucer, larger car seats, big kid toys, high chairs, and more.

I know that Buddy Bear is probably the next-to-last child I will have. I look forward to the changes that are sure to come in the days ahead, but I find myself wanting to hang onto these moments now. I look at him cuddled close to me as I nurse him and realize with a bittersweet pang that all too soon we will be separated during meals by high chairs and booster seats. Sooner or later, he won't want me to hold him close as often but will instead face the big world with his own brand of brave independence.

In other ways, I do look forward to the changes that lie ahead. I look forward to the time when he wears big boy underwear and doesn't have accidents. I look forward to the time when he can walk and run and play with his sisters. I look forward to the time when he is finished with the high chairs and booster seats and can feed himself while sitting in a regular chair at the table. I look forward to the time when he can speak clearly enough to tell me that he loves me.

While the changes that lie ahead are bittersweet for me, I would rather have the changes come than not, because that means that Buddy Bear is growing and developing as he should.

What has been the hardest change for you as your children have grown?


Loretta said...

The hardest change for me as my daughter has grown has simply been how fast time has gone by. My husband and I were married for nearly 17 childless years when we adopted our daughter, who was 36 hours old when we brought her home from the hospital. That seems like yesterday!!

She is now a high school graduate, homeschooled all her life. She's a wonderful, independent 18-year-old who loves the Lord and we're very proud of her. But we're stunned at how quickly the years flew by, after all those years of waiting...

I enjoy your blog and read it everyday. :)

DramaMama said...

The hardest change has been letting my little guy go. He's overnight w/grandma and grandpa right now and it feels so weird to go places w/o him and not know what he's up to. I'm getting over it and I know it's good for both of us, but I like being the first one to get kisses in the morning! I know I have a bunch more changes coming up over the next 2 years...he says he wants to go to school all the time! He will love every minute of it so that makes me happy...we have a bank w/money he collects for college =) Once he told me to get his bank, he was ready to go to college. I nearly cried! But I laughed too. It's nice that he reminds me that those days are coming...The more times he talks about it, the closer I get to being ready!

Revka said...

Loretta, thanks for stopping by and taking the time to comment. Thank you for delurking and letting me know that you stop by daily. That is an encouragement to me. :)

I am already finding myself wishing that time would slow a bit; my oldest daughter is turning 6 this year, and it simply doesn't seem possible. I can't imagine how I will feel when she turns 18.

Revka said...

Dramamama, your son sounds adorable. I think it's great that you are already having him save for college and that he is excited about it. :)

Karen_thrifty said...

I don't know that we've had any hard changes yet. I guess this year will probably be the oddest for me because my oldest will be starting kindergarten. There's no turning back now. I think the years will start flying by.